Names Mean Something

Bo Brusco | May 16, 2021 (8-minute read)

Image from Unpslash user @jontyson

Names and Identities

Names are interesting things. Everyone has one, and how people get their names varies according to culture. But inherent in a name comes an identity. For example, if a child is given the name Jason at birth, then Jason becomes that person—whatever that might look like. 

In Egyptian culture, it is a common practice to give a newborn a personal name followed by the names of their father and grandfather. In some Spanish-speaking cultures, it is customary to give a child two last names: the last name of the father (apellido paternito) is listed first, followed by the mother’s last name (apellido materno).

A more complex naming tradition comes from a Native American culture that believes that as a person changes, so should their name and identity. As Dr. Elisabeth Pearson Waugaman notes in her “What’s in a name?” series, a Native American’s name should change over time.

“Children receive names that are descriptive. They may be given new names at adolescence,” she explains, “and again as they go through life according to what their life experiences and accomplishments are. Society bestows a new name—a new name is earned.”

Regardless of culture, at the end of the day the same truth remains: names mean something. 

Chris Wilson, a professor of Education and History at Brigham Young University Idaho, teaches future public educators about the importance of learning their students’ names and referring to them accordingly. 

“Names are central to identity,” Professor Wilson explains. “The use of a name can bring back positive emotion. If I’m talking to you and I use your name when I say ‘hey, how’s it going,’ you recognize that I’m addressing you, and it gives your identity value; I recognize you.”

“If you use a student’s name correctly and effectively,” he continues, “it can help a student feel better about themselves. It can help them understand the relationship with others. So its not just as haphazard as ‘here it is on a role, let’s use it.’”

Professor Wilson also spoke about how the use of names, even outside the classroom, establishes relationships. “As you get and share experiences with people, you often give them an additional name,” he says. “And that name is between the two of you that no one else knows, which establishes a level of intimacy in a relationship that shows the value of the relationship and the value of the person to you.”

Most of us have a name we give to the general public while going by a different name within our familial context. As Professor Wilson explained, that nickname signifies a more intimate relationship between ourselves and those closest to us. 

My Name and Identity

The naming process is an interesting ordeal because as newborns, most of us don’t get a say in the matter when we receive our names. They’re bestowed upon us. Bo John Brusco, for example, is not the name I chose but it is mine nonetheless, and now it is who I am. And, when in the presence of my immediate family, I am Bo-John.

“Bo,” for a single-syllable name, you’d be surprised at how often it gets misunderstood or mispronounced. If someone does get my name wrong when I give it to them, they usually think my name is Bill. I’ve gotten Bob plenty of times too. Bull or Bowl isn’t as common, but there’s definitely still a trend there. I think the oddest one I’ve heard though is Boat. 

Bo John Brusco as an infant circa 1992.

I’ve honestly questioned myself, on numerous occasions, whether or not I am pronouncing my own name correctly. I’ve tried to over pronounce this single-syllable word before, but somehow that just makes things worse. 

Really though, how are Bowl and Boat more believable than Bo? And I feel like no one is named Bill anymore—at least no one my age. 

Whether we are actively aware of it or not, our relationship with our names affects our identity—or at least how we perceive ourselves. I asked Professor Wilson what he thought on the matter. 

“I would say that our names affect our identity,” Professor Wilson says. “Names affect the way we treat each other. It affects how we conceptualize ourselves because the effects of our response to our names is something that we can encode.”

Our names and how we feel about our names have an effect on us. My name, for example, is a family name. Bo is my father’s father, and John was my mother’s father, and because of the origins of my name, I have felt a sense of duty, almost, to become a father myself someday. 

I asked my mother if there was any kind of expectation or legacy to fulfill for her children named after family members. She said that while she always hopes that each generation will be an improvement upon the next, she had no particular expectations for her children regarding their names’ sake. 

While her response granted me a sigh of relief, I realize that despite the reality that there wasn’t pressure from my parents, I had still heaped those expectations upon myself for years. I had always anticipated becoming an exceptional father and felt a great sense of duty to my future posterity because of my name. 

Now, I’ve been talking about my name specifically but, I think the overarching message here is that eventually, each of us experiences a reckoning with our name. Whether we like our name or not, whether it’s a family name or not, our relationship with our name affects our identity—at least in some small way.

Names, Identities, and Institutions

If it is true that our names have an effect on our identities and that our names can establish our relationships, then what institutions do with our names can either humanize or dehumanize us. 

Observers of history, like Professor Wilson, are familiar with this truth. “It’s interesting historically when you wanted to denigrate a human being, you took away their name,” he explains, citing incidents of encampments and incarcerations wherein people’s names were often changed to numbers.

“That is a dehumanization of a human being,” he says. “So if that dehumanizes people, the proper use of it would humanize and add value to them because you have recognized them in a particular way.”

Talking about the use of language in institutions, Professor Wilson referred to Puaolo Frerrie’s “Pedagogy of the Oppressed,” a book wherein the Brazilian philosopher notes how language is often used as an oppressor. Giving an example of this idea, Professor Wilson says, “if I were to require you to call me ‘sir,’ that was one of the ways you could differentiate power relationships between a master and a servant.”

In his concluding thoughts, Professor Wilson asks, “who takes control of the name?” A question that he suggests is often overlooked. “We have just such a rudimentary way of treating the name of a person,” he continues. “It’s just pretty casual and sometimes I think we need to take more thought of what it is.”

Names mean something. We have personal relationships with them. There is a real dynamic between our names, other people, and institutions. As language has the power to humanize or dehumanize our fellow beings, it is prudent to evaluate how we use names.